Tuesday, May 19, 2009

To Out or Not to Out, That is the QUESTION!!!

This morning, my email buddy asked the following question: Did you see the clip of the newscaster from DC during a discussion of outing politicians?

My initial response before doing the YouTube thang . . .

Now, here's my thing (I see a blog post in my future) about outing people. Don't do it. Yeah, the politician might be voting against our people and proclaiming how homosexuality is wrong, blah, blah, blah . . . but at what point do we have the right to out somebody. Yes, said politician (or car dealership owner in Nashville) is a hypocrite. Yes, they're wrong in allegedly living a gay life on the side while proclaiming the wrongness of heterosexuality. Hyposhit happens every day. I just don't think anybody has a right to out somebody. Now, after I find the newscast, my opinion might change, but I seriously doubt it. In the end, what is the greater good? Is it outing a politician that has voted against equality for our people? Is it destroying a man's family, devastating the wife, the kids, the parents, in one simple newscast? Would you want a local news reporter to out you? Probably not. Coming to terms with homosexuality is not an easy road. You and I have been there, done that, and have the multiple t-shirts. People lose their families, more often than not, when they come out (and who the heck came up with that term in the first place??). Very few people (okay, Frank is an exception) come bursting out of the closet wearing a sparkly dress, tiara, and open-toed silver pumps, saying Hey, Girls! Sorry, but snark was necessary at this point. The fact is, that no matter the hypocrites that continue to flaunt their faux heterosexuality for all the world to see, while cheating on their waves with male interns, the outing of anybody needs to be done by one person: the gay man trying to come to terms with his/her genetic make-up. That's just my feeling on the matter.

Now, since my email response, I have done the YouTube thang, and, well, I kinda agree with the reporter saying that outing people is wrong (see my response above).

Now, the bigger question: Do I think it right for closeted politicians to vote for legislation that openly (or subtly) discriminates against Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgendered people?

HELL NO! I think it's wrong. Plain and simple . . . WRONG! Should those politicians be outed in a film? No - again, see above about the rough road of coming out. Nobody, no matter what, should have be forced to come out of the closet until they are damn good and ready. It takes time to get the tiara positioned just right on your head for such a dramatic entrance into the world. It takes time to come terms with this is how God made me, this is who I am.

My coming out wasn't an easy thang. I struggled for years with who I was. Heck, it took my sister twelve years to talk to me about my being gay. She knew for twelve (well, I'm sure she knew longer than that) years, after my conversation with my mother about being gay, that I was gay, and yet she didn't say anything for twelve years. Such is life. Still, the process wasn't easy. And no, it wasn't a choice for the allegedly ignorant who still believe homosexuality is a choice. My sexuality is genetics, the way I was born. Enough said.

Now, back to the outting of politicians, celebrities, and whoever. Enough is enough. No family needs to find out that daddy/mommy is gay by hearing about it on the local news. No parent needs to find out their son/daughter is gay by getting a phone call from Mrs. Kravitz next door who happened to see it on the news.

I understand Mike Roger's (the filmmaker) frustration. I understand his outrage at the blatant hypocrisy going on in Washington, DC. I'm right there with you, man. But I'm also right there with Doug McKelway (the outraged reporter) in his feeling that outing is an invasion of personal privacy. What people do in their bedrooms, or bathroom stalls, or in the park, or wherever, is their own personal business. It does not need to be fodder for a documentary.

Lastly, outrage aside, the gay community needs to unite to fight the laws being enacted, rather than out politicians (or whoever) who are still coming to terms with how God made them. I'm just saying . . .


BTW - Frank did not leap out of the closet wearing a sparkly dress, tiara, and open-toed pumps. I just put that in for dramatic effect. Love you, sweetie!


lizB said...

Again, going to agree. Deciding when, who, where, and how to come out is a very personal decision. Outing someone else is a gross invasion of privacy. No one has the right to out someone else.

As to lawmakers voting against rights for ANY American citizen, it's wrong whether the politician is gay or not. Just wrong. Makes me so mad. It's a slap in the face to our constitution to deny any citizen the same right/rights that other citizens have.

We finally legalized gay marriage here (Iowa), and before the ink was dry we had bigots out in front of the courthouse whining about it. They're plotting by any means possible to get it thrown out. And these people call themselves Christians. Apparently that whole "judging others" thing doesn't apply to them. I'm an atheist, so it's not a religious issue for me, anyway. But if I were a Christian, these bigots would shame me. (They shame me now. They're a disgrace to the human race and America, IMO)

I don't think they'll succeed in getting it overturned. The decision was unanimous. Let us hope.