Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Will People Never Learn?

Here’s the question of the day: when will people just get over it? It does not matter if someone is gay, straight, bisexual, transsexual, trisexual or transgendered: it does not make them any less of a person. I do not understand society’s obsession with categorizing somebody and demeaning him or her by that category.

What started me on this rant? Oh, dear readers, click on the lovely link and read the article that set my mind ranting:


For the hundredth time (really the thousandth, but hundredth sounds better), sexual orientation is not a choice. It is genetics. I know there are a huge number of people out there that disagree with me on that; but none of them have lived my life, and very few of them really care to understand the truth (at least the truth as I see it). I did not wake up on a Tuesday, look outside, see the sun was shining (and it was a perfect day for rabbit hunting according to Snoopy) and decide ‘hey, I think I’ll become gay’. I did not make such a choice, any more than someone claiming heterosexual status made an obvious choice to become heterosexual: it was just the way they were born, i.e,. genetics.

I understand that people have a problem with the whole gay, transgendered, whatever, thing, but to deny its existence and to . . . well, I probably shouldn’t go here, but . . . attempt to shield their children from the psychological ramifications . . . oh, please, just get over it and get a life. As I previously stated, we’re everywhere and we’re not going away. I just wish the rest of the ignorant minded (sorry, but if the word fits, the word fits and I’m going to use it) could be as accepting as my sister (not that she didn’t have about 12 years of denial, but that’s a whole other story). Not too long ago my 2 ½ year old niece (and she probably asked this because she has a little brother now) if little boys wore dresses. Without blinking an eye, or probably (and you’ll understand this in a few seconds) thinking about what she was going to say, my sister said: No, only girls and drag queens. My niece’s response was “Okay, Momma” and that was the end of the matter. I can probably guarantee you that few parents would have made such a statement to their 2 ½ year old daughter. Nevertheless, my niece has two gay uncles, and my sister will not hide such a fact. It is just a natural part of life. My niece and nephew will be one of the lucky ones, growing up in an environment where they are not taught prejudice or hate, and where ignorance is not allowed. I only wish the rest of the world could exist in such an environment. Alas (I just love that word), such a state of being will probably never exist in this world. It is easier to hate than love. It is easier to nourish prejudice than acceptance. It is easier to wallow in ignorance than ask the necessary questions to live in knowledge.

My ranting is done, only for the moment, and the flow of words is beginning to slow. I have no more words of wisdom to offer or sage advice to give. In the end, people will choose ignorance over knowledge and hate over love/acceptance. It is easier.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Duct Tape

I think the world would be a better place with a more ample use of duct tape. I think the majority of the world’s problems would not exist . . . with a more liberal use of duct tape. Duct tape is the cure all for the world’s problems.

Okay, for those of you wondering, I have not totally lost my mind; but I have had it to the nth degree with negativity. Let me spell it out for you: N – E – G – A – T – I – V – I – T – Y! There is too darn much negativity in the world and the simplest solution is – yes, you’ve guessed right – DUCT TAPE.

I think that any time somebody makes a negative comment about somebody else, that somebody should take a piece of duct tape seal off the negative comment maker’s mouth. It is a simple solution, and fairly cost effective as well. The next time a politician lies, pull out the old duct tape. The next time somebody insults somebody – with or without cause – pull out the duct tape. The next time somebody makes a cruel or insensitive remark, pull out the duct tape. Soon, semi-fully knowing the propensity for negativity in today’s society, there would be silence.

Now, as a world full of people with duct taped mouths might present somewhat of a problem, a needs for duct tape removal exists. I think the duct tape should stay on until the following happens: a) the person realizes they made a negative comment, told a lie, made a cruel or insensitive remark, or both for that matter and b) apologize for aforementioned remark, no matter the category. The duct tape should be kept readily available for the next instance of negativity or whatever, because it is going to happen again with better odds than winning the Power Ball or a bird excrementing upon you in a parking lot. Yes, I know excrementing is not an official word, but the usage fits, and I’m using it. Now, in the second instance of negativity, two pieces of duct tape should be used, and so on. In time – perhaps, but highly unlike with today’s devolved society – people might learn the true impact of their negativity, their lies, their cruelness and their insensitivity; but the Magic 8 Ball says “DOUBTFUL”! So, the duct tape makers shall get richer, and more and more people will appear in public with duct tape across their mouths.

I have vented . . . for now. What brought this up, some may wonder and others may not? Sit back, dear readers, and I shall regale you with tales of negative comments . . . or not. Suffice it to say that negative comments are harmful in all ways, and rarely helpful. I received a negative, totally (at least in my opinion) unjustified negative comment recently and realized it was but one upon many such comments. The comments are not necessary and I think the silent rule should apply: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. If that rule cannot apply, than the duct tape rule should apply: if you can’t say anything nice, someone’s gonna slap some duct tape across your mouth.


Friday, February 17, 2006


There are some nights when the words flow so easily when I sit down for my nightly writing session; then there are other nights where it is a struggle to find the right words. Last night was a flowy night. The words flowed smoothly from my brain to the paper. I had no doubts or struggles. I sat down, began writing, and 1,400 words later I had amazed even myself. Trust me, that's not an easy thing to do. I did not set out to write what I wrote last night, but obviously other parts of my brain had other ideas. My original intent was to edit a chapter. Instead, I began a new, and obviously necessary, chapter. 1,400 words equals out to about 5 pages. It is not a long chapter, but it fills in some blanks and provides necessary information. As I was writing the chapter I truly intended it to be longer than 1,400 words. Sometimes things happen. I wrote the perfect sentence. It was the perfect end to the chapter and the perfect lead in to the next chapter (the one I was supposed to edit last night). So the lengthy chapter I wasn't initial planning on writing, but somehow I started writing, suddenly became a much shorter chapter. Such is life.

I no longer question my talent. I no longer fully question my ability to write, though sometimes those pesky doubts form in my mind. It is easy to disregard them now than before. I guess that comes with age. Perhaps it comes with growing into the person I am now. I don't know. I don't care. I just know that last nights the words flowed freely. Sometimes, writing is akin to ecstasy. Yes, strange comparison, but I can tell you that there are times when I finish writing that I am breathless. I am satisfied. It's not quite sex, but close enough sometimes. I feel content after an excellent writing session. I feel at peace. Even as a writer, I don't think I can really put those words into writing to truly express the feelings I have after an excellent writing session.

Well, the real world is calling me right now. I do have bills to pay and since I haven't yet submitted anything to publication, it's off to my real job (which, btw, is the best job in the world).


Thursday, February 16, 2006

Nothing New to Rant About, So . . .

I really have nothing new to rant about at the moment, so I thought I'd just provide an update on my life. I know, probably very few people out there give a rat's hairy @$$, but that's the genius of blogs: you can write what you want, when you want, and you really don't care if the audience is interested or not. Is that too cynical? Too harsh, perhaps? Probably so, but it is one of those days where I'm on a roll.

Valentine's day has come and gone. The chocolates are half-eaten (if not totally gone) and the flowers are wilting, soon to be gone. The cards have been put away and the obligatory sex is done. The stores already have the St. Pat's items out, the marketing frenzy begins anew. Holidays have no meaning any more, it's all about shopping, going to the store. Oh, someone help me, I've begun to rhyme.

Okay, forget Valentine's Day, and holdiays past and future yet to come. Life is pretty good right now. Some personal doubts have been set aside and resolved for now. There is a sense of hope, and relief, as I continue with my life. My writing is going well. I have completed the edit/revise of the first 17 chapters of the current manuscript I am working on. I cannot believe that almost three months have passed since I began the edit process, and only four months have passed since I began work on this current project. It all began with National Novel Writing Month: 30 days, 50,000 words. It was a simple goal. I exceeded the limit by 250 words with 2 days to spare. I wrote what I call the 'shell' of a novel in those 30 days: beginning, middle and end. I created/crafted characters and situations, told a story, and answered all questions posed. The last 2 1/2 months have been spent refining what I wrote, adding characters and situations, and fleshing out the story so it makes more sense. There have been major deletions as well, and major revisions of certain locations. I have added over 20,000 words to the initial 50,000, and there will probably be at least 10,000 more words before all is said and done.

I guess what is most scary for me right now is what to do when I finish the process. Will I get up the nerve to search for a publisher? Will I just file it away with countless other manuscripts?

The simple answers are: yes and no. I am determined to succeed. I don't know why this year is different. I just know that the days of fear have to end sometime, and that time is now, rather than next year or the next. I might well fail. I might be told my writing is crap. So many things might happen, but I can no longer sit back and do nothing with my writing. I have to try. If I fail, so be it, because there is always the next time and the next time and the next time and the next time . . . and I hope you get the point by now.

Life is not about living in the future. It is about living in the present. Today. Not tomorrow, for tommorow might not come. I look at the stack of disks and CDs, the typed pages filing up storage box after storage box, of my writing, and I realize I should have done something long ago. I just don't think I was ready back then. My writing has changed so much over the course of the years. I needed the time to hone my talent, to find confidence in myself and my writing. I needed to have others read my writing and give me their comments, both good and bad. I have done that and now my excuses 'not to' do something are gone. In the famous words from 'Rent', there's only now!


Sunday, February 05, 2006


I dreamed last night, or rather early this morning, that my book was published. I do not know the name of the book – as is the way of dreams, the writing is sometimes not readable in the dream state; though I have read writing clearly in my dreams before – but I held it in my hand and say my name printed on the cover. I guess it is odd that I saw my name in writing, but could not read the title of the book or the names of the chapters even. Only my name was clear. Shivers up my spine, an odd sense of a future about to happen – presentiment? Premonition? Bullshit? I do not know. I only know that never before have I dreamed – shivers again, an odd sense of . . . something – of being published. Perhaps – damn, wish those shivers would stop – it is the fact that I recently made a huge decision regarding my life. Perhaps it is the fact that I have stayed so focused on the novel I have been working on since November 1, 2005. Again, I don’t know. I just know that writing is what I want to do most in this world, whether that is writing essays or fiction. I want to write. The words explode from within. I have – in the words from the musical Le Miserable – dreamed a dream. I have – fingers and a few other things crossed – dreamed the future (and I hope it is the very near future). I held the book in my hand and saw my name in print on the cover. I showed the book to my friends and family. I was published.