Friday, February 17, 2006

Words

There are some nights when the words flow so easily when I sit down for my nightly writing session; then there are other nights where it is a struggle to find the right words. Last night was a flowy night. The words flowed smoothly from my brain to the paper. I had no doubts or struggles. I sat down, began writing, and 1,400 words later I had amazed even myself. Trust me, that's not an easy thing to do. I did not set out to write what I wrote last night, but obviously other parts of my brain had other ideas. My original intent was to edit a chapter. Instead, I began a new, and obviously necessary, chapter. 1,400 words equals out to about 5 pages. It is not a long chapter, but it fills in some blanks and provides necessary information. As I was writing the chapter I truly intended it to be longer than 1,400 words. Sometimes things happen. I wrote the perfect sentence. It was the perfect end to the chapter and the perfect lead in to the next chapter (the one I was supposed to edit last night). So the lengthy chapter I wasn't initial planning on writing, but somehow I started writing, suddenly became a much shorter chapter. Such is life.

I no longer question my talent. I no longer fully question my ability to write, though sometimes those pesky doubts form in my mind. It is easy to disregard them now than before. I guess that comes with age. Perhaps it comes with growing into the person I am now. I don't know. I don't care. I just know that last nights the words flowed freely. Sometimes, writing is akin to ecstasy. Yes, strange comparison, but I can tell you that there are times when I finish writing that I am breathless. I am satisfied. It's not quite sex, but close enough sometimes. I feel content after an excellent writing session. I feel at peace. Even as a writer, I don't think I can really put those words into writing to truly express the feelings I have after an excellent writing session.

Well, the real world is calling me right now. I do have bills to pay and since I haven't yet submitted anything to publication, it's off to my real job (which, btw, is the best job in the world).

Scott

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