Sunday, November 30, 2008


I absolutely love Christmas. I think - other than Halloween (the gay new year) - that it is one of my favorite times of the year.

I spent this weekend listening to Christmas music and decorating the house. I put up the tree Friday and spent the rest of the day fluffing the branches, and fluffing, and fluffing, and fluffing some more. I spent hours staring at the tree, going over and fluffing over the bare spots. Fluff, fluff, fluff!!

Saturday was ornament day. Again, not a short process. In fact, I'm still adjusting the ornaments - move it an inch up, down, left, right. Crap! It still doesn't look right. Remove the ornament totally - music playing in the background ~ Josh Groban, Linda Eder, Barenaked Ladies, Celtic Woman, Manheim Steamroller, Transsiberian Orchestra - stare at the tree and then, slowly, methodically move forward to place the ornament once again. Sing along with the music, do a little dance, and the decorating continues. Whew!

Then, there were the outdoor lights . . . in the rain. Okay, so the majority of the lights went up the day before Thanksgiving when it was an absolutely gorgeous day, and quite warm as well. The final lights did not go up until yesterday, in the rain, and after quite a few phone calls made to my partner while I was at Target trying to decide what length extension cords we needed, and how many more lights, and . . . and . . . and . . . well, I guess you get the picture. The lights are up. The house is still in process.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008


This entry is two-fold . . . as you'll see if you keep reading. If you stop reading, you'll never understand the two-fold nature of this entry.

Here's the two-fold (actually, two questions) part: Why are people surprised by an act of kindness? Are people afraid of showing kindness (and/or compassion) toward others?

Here's the deal: I was brought up to treat people respectfully, to hold open doors, for women, men, children, whatever, to say thank you, no thank you, you're welcome, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am, and all the other little kindness that demonstrate - at least in my opinion - the greater potentials of humanity. What surprises me, is that people are often surprised by these small kindnesses. Why? Has society spiraled so far toward chaos that kindness, whether among friends or strangers, is no longer recognized? Has humanity begun a backwards descent towards the neanderthal days? Will acts of kindness soon no longer exist?

I have no answers to those questions. I only know that, more and more, people seemed surprised by signs of kindness, and/or respect.

Now, to my second question (the two-fold nature of this post since the two questions, in many ways, are extreme polar opposites of each other): Are people afraid of showing kindness (and/or compassion) toward others? It seems to me that people would rather act rudely toward each other, than kindly. How difficult is it to hold a door open for someone or to say thank you? How much effort goes into a smile? A kind word? A kind gesture. If someone holds a door open for you, would it kill you (yes, major generalization, get over it) to say "thanks"? Is your face going to break if you smile? Now I understand, the Botox Queens cannot smile or show any facial expression at all, but what's stopping the rest of the world? Why are people afraid to make eye contact? Whew!! Sorry, that took a lot out of me. I guess I'm just confused by the whole surprise toward kindness I have been witnessing lately.

There is no price for kindness, only the reward (if you can get it) of a thanks or a smile, or a coke and smile for that matter. I'm just saying . . .


Supersize Me!!

I know, strange title, but . . . Thanksgiving is just days away, and everybody knows what happens on Thanksgiving: American society overeats like crazy. In fact, Thanksgiving is the beginning of the holiday eating season. From now until New Years, Americans will eat, eat, eat, and then eat some more and more and more. It's an American pastime. It's an American obsession. It's absolutely frakkin' crazy!!! Is this what the Pilgrims had in mind when they sailed to America? Were they not allowed to eat in Europe? When/why did America become such a "fat" society?

Why do Americans eat so much? Why is the South more obese than the rest of the country? Why do restaurants supersize every frakkin' meal? The portions are out of control. Eating is out of control. I think there is a conspiracy between clothes manufactures and the restaurant industry. Picture it: the two sides meeting and the clothes people saying Okay, now you give people way more than they'll eat, and then they'll feel they have to eat everything on their plate because that's what Mom's have told kids for generations, and then their weight will increase and they'll have to buy bigger clothes. It's a win-win situation. And the clothes manufacturers and the restaurant bigwigs laughed all the way to the bank. Can you hear their evil laughter?? It's all a conspiracy.

Okay, so it's not really a conspiracy. The fact is: Americans, for the most part, overeat. They gorge themselves during the holiday season, make false promises to themselves that they'll diet starting the first of the new year . . . and then, three to six weeks into the new year they have given up the diets and are asking for fries with every meal. Instead of cutting back, they go out and buy bigger clothes. Trust me, I've been guilty of the same thing.

My question: where/when does it end? At what point (it took me getting to a Size 34, a very, very tight Size 34) does a person say enough is enough? Why don't people say enough is enough? I have no answer to that question. I only know the eating frenzy that consumes (pun intended) American society will begin in just a few days. The glut of free food gifts has already begun at my office. From now until Christmas, deliveries will arrive. Will my co-workers and I step away from the free food? Hell no!! We'll eat more and more and more, and wonder, as New Years - literally for some of us - rolls around, how in the hell we gained so much weight between Thanksgiving and New Years. Was it the pound of chocolates? The boxes and boxes of cookies? The fruit baskets? Okay, so fruit - in moderation - is somewhat good for a person, but too much of anything packs the pounds on! I'm just saying . . .


Saturday, November 22, 2008

Faux Heterosexuals

Faux Heterosexual - a man/woman who is gay, but pretends to be straight, and marries to perpetuate the facade of heterosexuality.

Why am I providing a definition of faux heterosexuality? Well, because I recently learned that a faux heterosexual donated money in support of Proposition 8. Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. This faux heterosexual has been married numerous times. Gee, I wonder why? In fact, the gayvine - telephone, telegraph, tell-a-gay-man - alleges that one of his wives caught him in bed with another man. Gee, do you think that's why she divorced him?

So, this faux heterosexual, in defense of the illusion that he is straight, donates money to support hate legislation that denies same-sex marriage. WTF!!! I mean, seriously people, marrying a woman and donating money against same-sex marriage is not going to make the man straight. He was born gay, he might deny he is gay, and he is going to die gay. You can't change genetics.

Isn't it strange how many of the people who denounce gayness are actually gay? It's as if the only way they know how to react is with anger and oppression toward their own people. It's a crying shame, my friends. I'm just saying . . .


Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I believe in equality for all, and not just a select few - this is what I tell people when they ask about the bracelet (see picture) I've started wearing.

This bracelet is available here. It's not expensive. It's $12.00. That's less than three trips to Starbucks for a Grande Cafe Mocha. That's less than you'll pay going out to lunch two days per week.

The sad fact is, election day brought about the passage of hate legislation (Prop 8, etc.) in our country. The sad fact is, equality only exists for the select few in our country. I am denied equality on a daily basis. I cannot marry my partner of 14 years. I cannot (unless I want to risk the potential of violence) walk down the street with my arm about my partner's waist. I cannot openly show affection for my partner in public (again, unless I want to risk the potential of violence). I can, however, since I work for a great company, have my partner covered under my company health plan since we offer domestic partner benefits. Not everybody can say the same thing. Equality does not exist for all.

I believe that equality should exist for all. So, in protest for Prop 8 and all other hate legislation passed on this most recent election day, and on previous election days, I am wearing my believe bracelet. I will respond in the same way - I believe in equality for all, and not just a select few - every single time someone asks about the bracelet. When further asked to explain, I will point out the passage of hate legislation.

What do I ask of my readers? Go here, buy the bracelet, and tell people the same thing. It is a small step toward equality, but it is a step. Every step counts, my friends.


Just in case the link doesn't work - go to, shop, jewelry, cuff bands/watches and scroll down until you find the believe band.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Hate Legislation

President-Elect Barack Obama made the following statement in his victory speech: If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

I doubt that "America is a place where all things are possible". The passage of hate legislation that dares to deny the love between two men, or two women, that dares to decree that marriage is only acceptable between a man and a woman, does not represent a "place where all things are possible". The passage of hate legislation proves that America, for the most part, in some States at least, is a place where equality is denied to people on a daily basis, and where only the allegedly heterosexual people of this country can expect equality.

So, President-Elect Obama, I issue this challenge: change the policy of discrimination and non-equality against the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community. Stand up for the rights of all citizens of the United States, and not just the rights of the allegedly heterosexual. Erase my doubt that "America is a place where all things are possible"!


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Gay Marriage Bans

Here's what I don't understand: why isn't someone taking the states that pass gay marriage bans to court? The gay marriage bans clearly violate the separation between Church and State set forth in the United States Constitution. Defining marriage solely between a man and woman is Biblical based (i.e., Church). So, to ban gay marriage by using that definition, the separation between Church and State no longer exists, thus the violation of the United States Constitution.

Now, I know, I'm probably missing something, somewhere but it seems pretty simple to me. If the law (gay marriage ban) violates the separation between Church and State, then the law is illegal. I'm just saying . . .



Okay, enough said! Yes, I'm ecstatic over the results of the Election. Whoo-frakkin' - hoo!

As my last official blog of the 2008 election, I would like to commend (in an odd sort of way) Senator John McCain for accepting blame for his failed election. Very few people today are willing to step up to the proverbial plate and say hey, I'm responsible and I'm sorry. In his concession speech, John McCain spoke those admirable words.

I'd like to point out, to him, to the country, that he is not solely to blame for his failure to get 270 electoral votes. The majority of the blame can be summed up in one, very simple word: Bush. Yes, our current President, as well as the Republicans in charge, along with some Democrats as well, are partially - if not majorly (I know, not a word, but I'm using it anyway) to blame for John McCain's failure to garner 270 electoral votes.

With that said, Senator McCain made a few missteps along the way:

  • First - instead of sticking to his ideal of running an honorable campaign, he ran a dishonorable campaign.
  • Second - he never should have suspended his campaign because of the economic crisis. He did himself more harm than good with that act, and then whined continuously about that act for the rest of his campaign.
  • Third - he underestimated the effects of the economy, and George W. Bush, on the American voters.
  • Fourth - he picked Sarah Palin as his running mate!!!! WTF!!!! Before her nomination as his running mate, who in the heck had heard of her? He picked - in my opinion at least - her for her gender alone and not her qualifications. That, my friends, is sexist!

Still, he accepted the blame, in part, for his failed campaign, so the man has earned some of my respect. I'm just saying . . .


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Another Gay Character Bites the Dust on Network Television

The Grey's Anatomy lesbian storyline is gone. Dr. Hahn has left the building. ABC let the actress go. Why? Well, who the heck knows why the network executives do what they do. The common thread is that they didn't like the lesbian storyline. Shonda Rimes says it didn't have anything to do with the lesbian storyline. The message boards are abuzz with rumors and hateful comments, oh, and the alleged Christians are saying good-riddance. PLEASE!

What would Jesus do? Well, from what I understand - and the more sane of commenter's responded - Jesus would accept and love everybody, without judgement. He would not - yes, grand assumption on my part - spew hate and take the words of the Bible out of context to stress His point of view.

So, what's your take on the firing of a talented actress involved in a lesbian storyline? Was she fired because - as many posted - her character is unsympathetic? Was she fired - as Shonda Rimes stated - because she had no chemistry with her bi-sexual counterpart Callie? Or, was she fired because the ABC executives are narrow-minded and have no clue about real life?

The sad fact is, even with the limited number of gay characters on television, the gay population - my people - are sadly underrepresented. I can find a gay man/woman anywhere I go in this country - restaurant, hotel, law office, gym, Church, grocery store, bus stop, library, etc. The person may or may not be out, but they are there. We are there, we are everywhere, except equally represented on network television. I'm just saying . . .


Today . . .

. . . the people of this country make a very important choice.

. . . the world waits, along with the American people, with baited breath to see which path the United States will take.

. . . the hopes and dreams of one candidate, one party, will be dashed into a million little pieces.

. . . for a little while at least, maybe until tomorrow, the voters will hold hope in their hearts that their candidate will win the election.

. . . I accept the fact that I have done all I can do . . . I have voted (well, technically I voted a few weeks ago when early voting started).


Monday, November 03, 2008

Joe the Plumber

Why all the media hype about Joe the Plumber? First - his name is not Joe. Second - he owes thousands of dollars in back taxes. Third - he's not actually a licensed plumber. Is this really someone we want to represent the average American?


I'm just saying . . .