Friday, February 24, 2006

Duct Tape

I think the world would be a better place with a more ample use of duct tape. I think the majority of the world’s problems would not exist . . . with a more liberal use of duct tape. Duct tape is the cure all for the world’s problems.

Okay, for those of you wondering, I have not totally lost my mind; but I have had it to the nth degree with negativity. Let me spell it out for you: N – E – G – A – T – I – V – I – T – Y! There is too darn much negativity in the world and the simplest solution is – yes, you’ve guessed right – DUCT TAPE.

I think that any time somebody makes a negative comment about somebody else, that somebody should take a piece of duct tape seal off the negative comment maker’s mouth. It is a simple solution, and fairly cost effective as well. The next time a politician lies, pull out the old duct tape. The next time somebody insults somebody – with or without cause – pull out the duct tape. The next time somebody makes a cruel or insensitive remark, pull out the duct tape. Soon, semi-fully knowing the propensity for negativity in today’s society, there would be silence.

Now, as a world full of people with duct taped mouths might present somewhat of a problem, a needs for duct tape removal exists. I think the duct tape should stay on until the following happens: a) the person realizes they made a negative comment, told a lie, made a cruel or insensitive remark, or both for that matter and b) apologize for aforementioned remark, no matter the category. The duct tape should be kept readily available for the next instance of negativity or whatever, because it is going to happen again with better odds than winning the Power Ball or a bird excrementing upon you in a parking lot. Yes, I know excrementing is not an official word, but the usage fits, and I’m using it. Now, in the second instance of negativity, two pieces of duct tape should be used, and so on. In time – perhaps, but highly unlike with today’s devolved society – people might learn the true impact of their negativity, their lies, their cruelness and their insensitivity; but the Magic 8 Ball says “DOUBTFUL”! So, the duct tape makers shall get richer, and more and more people will appear in public with duct tape across their mouths.

I have vented . . . for now. What brought this up, some may wonder and others may not? Sit back, dear readers, and I shall regale you with tales of negative comments . . . or not. Suffice it to say that negative comments are harmful in all ways, and rarely helpful. I received a negative, totally (at least in my opinion) unjustified negative comment recently and realized it was but one upon many such comments. The comments are not necessary and I think the silent rule should apply: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. If that rule cannot apply, than the duct tape rule should apply: if you can’t say anything nice, someone’s gonna slap some duct tape across your mouth.